Thanksgiving Day

Here in the Midwestern USA, it's Thanksgiving Day. The first few flakes of snow drifted by my window this morning, the days are getting shorter, and convincing myself that winter is a long way away is becoming increasingly difficult. This is a day of reflection for many of us, to count the blessings in our lives and share time with family or friends.

I'm having dinner in a few hours with several friends. The menu will be Southern USA, Turkey Roulades, Gumbo, Hominy Casserole, Sweet Potato & Rutabaga Casserole, Cabbage Pudding, Bread Pudding with brandy sauce for dessert. I was born in Virginia, and have always had a spiritual connection with the South. This is the time of year when I start feeling homesick for the South, for (as a friend of mine once wrote) "magnolias bleeding their bright seeds into the snow".

I'm grateful for many things: health, meaningful work, the love of friends. Although we celebrate thanskgiving in this country in a special way on this day, for many years I've tried to start my day on awaking with a prayer of gratitude - that I have been given another day, that I be given the grace to Get It Right this time.

May you have a thoughtful and grateful day, whether or not Thanksgiving is part of your traditions!

Baby Boomers & Retirement

I've often said I'm not interested in retirement in the "classic" sense. I have too many plans to think about lazy days of fishing, golf, and volunteer activities. At some point over the past decade I've become enthusiastic about continuing meaningful work well past employment. I still haven't written the Great American Novel or developed my Legacy, and I sure don't want to spend my Golden Years living on Social Security. Plus, I plan on living long enough to start a whole new career ... or two. Here's a great article from Small Business Trends with some great advice for those of us who are approaching "retirement" age.

Facing Up to Failure

There are a number of lists of famous "failures" on the internet, folks in various disciplines who stuck with something until they succeeded. Here's one from the Division of Educational Studies at Emory, University. Back when I was doing a lot of software engineering work, I remember reading that at the time something like 40% of all software projects fail. Improvement in software engineering disciplines has reportedly reduced that failure rate to 15% in recent years, but that still means that more than one project out of every ten software projects started will fail. And some studies continue to report high failure rates for IT projects. In fact, more than one software project out of every ten should fail.

Being able to recognize failure for what it is and accept our own failures means we can learn from our mistakes and oversights, and reduce the chance of their happening in the future. I've sometimes had people who were considering great life changes ask me, "but what if I fail?" One might ask them, what if you don't and you continue down a fruitless path without learning anything or growing from your mistakes? What if you never try and come to regret your fear later in life?

There's a time to be optimistic about our prospects for failure, and a time to be pessimistic. Martin Seligman has pointed out that we don't want the person piloting our airplane to tell herself, "I can have a couple of drinks before I fly ... the likelihood of something bad happening is low." When the cost of failure is high, we want to be careful with the optimism. Two key questions to ask ourselves when making an important life decision (career related or otherwise) are: what would be the cost if I fail? and what will be my regret if I never try?

I suppose another way of putting it would be: take risks, but take them wisely.

The Search For Meaning

In Man's Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl wrote: "Man's search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life." Later, he writes that meaning in life can be discovered in three different ways:

1. Creating something of value or doing something worthwhile (our legacy)
2. Experiencing goodness, truth, beauty etc. or experiencing love for a person
3. Seeing unavoidable suffering as ennobling rather than degrading

This is strong stuff. I first read Frankl in graduate school, and my encounter with him was transformative. His little book was inspired by his experiences in the concentration camp, and the many barbaric and seemingly random experiences he had there. Where, he had to ask himself, is God in all of this? Where is the meaning of it all?

Some of you might be wondering: what does this have to do with one's career? A career can be congruent with our deepest selves, with our identity as human beings and our sense of being called to do something with our lives that makes a difference. Or, it can be something we do just because it's there, or because we've drifted into it.

I've known many people who have said to me that when they go to work it's to make money for the time when they're not at work, or to put money away so they can retire early and do the things they really want to do. They have claimed that their careers don't have to have meaning: making a decent salary in a comfortable environment is enough. Is it?

Suppose one starts work after college at the age of 22, and retires at the age of 66, with three weeks off each year. That's 44 years times 49 weeks per year times 40 hours per week. This person will spend 86,240 hours on the job over the course of his/her career; with overtime, that's over 10 years of his/her life. And it's a substantial fraction of a life to be spent in the hope of better things after the need to work for one's daily bread is done.

Frankl would say, I suspect, that one needs work that meets one or more of the criteria above so that our lives will be filled with meaning. Essayist Frederick Buechner wrote that we're called to the place where our joy and the world's need meet. Finding a career that fills us with joy and creates meaning for ourselves and others is more than a career goal: it's essential to our being human.

Trapped!

Before I changed careers, I spent years feeling trapped by my circumstances. Friends told me: you have a great career, make a lot of money, why the #$*&!! are you thinking of changing careers? My former wife advised me that I needed to be thinking about retirement rather than thinking about starting a new career, and at my age, yet.

The prospect of changing careers was scary: what if I didn't make it? What if I was making a big mistake? I was comfortable, my career was a known quantity, and I was making a comfortable living at it. I felt my expertise was known and respected by my clients. Why rock the boat, and start out new in a career when I could stay where I was and have a warm and fuzzy comfortable life?

Because of passion: I wanted to make a difference in peoples' lives. I wanted to look back at my life from my deathbed and know that what I had done transformed others and helped them find their passion, too. So I did it: quit my job, went back to grad school, got an MA in clinical psych and began work at a counseling agency. It was exciting and terrifying at the same time. The day I sold the house I loved was an important one: it felt like there was no turning back.

Now, I'm working on building my coaching practice. I have a long way to go. But I'm happy: I feel like I'm following my heart, that my work speaks to my authentic self. And that's what really makes a job into a vocation.

Mindfulness and joy

I have been thinking a lot about mindfulness recently: the awareness of now, of the current moment. Most of the time, we sleepwalk through life. How many times have I seen a glorious October go by like the one just past and thought, "My God, when did the leaves fall off the trees?" We're so wrapped up in resenting the past and fearing the future that we forget that this moment - right now - is all we really have: the past is a ghost, and the future a fantasy whether it be fearful or full of promise.

Kids get this, I think. Most of them lack sufficient past experiences to regret them, and anything past the next minute or two is in the far future. I believe the key to true happiness is savoring and appreciating the present moment, and being fully in it. But how, one might ask, does one plan for the future if one is living in the moment? How does one learn from the past?

It's fairly simple in concept, much more difficult in the execution: we learn from the past without being attached to its pain, we plan for the future without being attached to outcomes, whether good or bad. This fills the present moment with the possibility of true joy because the human being who has nothing to lose gains everything.

When you leave the house or work today, look around at the day: there is beauty in the worst weather, and a brightness in the darkest night. Wake in gratitude in the morning, knowing that you've been given a great gift: another day on this great planet, another day to live in its fullness, another opportunity for joy.

WSJ Tips for Online Job Hunting

Wall Street Journal's CareerJournal site posted an article with several good tips for those who are submitting resumes online:

1. Use keywords in your resume. Look for job-related words in the job description that are used two or more times.
2. Position yourself in your resume for future promotions. Include skills that will help you move up the ladder.
3. Catch their attention quickly; if you don't grab them in 30 seconds, your resume will likely be deep sixed.
4. Think career portfolio when you do and post things online; recruiters may google for your name.
5. Improve your chances by contacting and (if possible) getting to know someone in the organization.
6. Holiday lulls are great for job searches; recruiters and employers will have more time for your resume.
7. Be persistent - "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" as the saying goes.

Nothing earth shattering in the article, but some pretty good and solid suggestions.